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It’s that time of the year, it’s the Nordstrom sale time.

If you are on instagram for even a tiny bit more than sharing food of your delicious lunch on instagram you can’t avoid all the bloggers showing you their finds from the coveted sale.

every year we see the same bullshit, the same bloggers buying the same weird trendy jumpsuit that seriously only looks good in those edited instagram shots, that you buy and end up sitting around feeling like jumbo the clown in the unflattering lighting of your local Starbucks, only me??

My life as become a perfect combination of too much time to online shop and not enough time to actually go into a store that I have become quite the expert at the online sales and am here to give you my “stay at home” mom guide to treating yourself without breaking the bank.

Now before I go too far into the logistics of WHAT I choose to spend my money on fist let me explain why I choose to splurge on certain things. In my late teens and early 20’s I was like most girls my age. I shopped mostly at forever 21, H&M and scoured the internet for “dupes” for my favorite high-end lipsticks and skin care. What I found by doing this is that the clothing I was buying was pretty much disposable, the makeup would be poor quality so I would use more of it which would affect my skin and so on and so forth. It wasn’t until I was in my late 20’s that I realized I was wasting way less money buying more expensive and durable items, if I was smart, at a heavy discount. As a rule I buy probably 90% of my items on sale. I don’t fucks with full price, it’s not my jam.

This brings us to the Nordstrom sale.

And yes. I am shopping with all the other “non cardholders” Stephen lost his Nordstrom card somewhere and honestly I think the last time we looked for it and tried to figure it out online we were too drunk and gave up so I shop with the people….like Bernie Sanders for discounted cardigans.

Now this year I had a few things I needed:

  • long wool coat for winter
  • black boots
  • long sleeve basics

 

wanted:

  • basic black dress
  • cream coat
  • spanx leggings
  • leggings
  • did i mention leggings?
  • literally all I wear is leggings or leggings pretending to be jeans

 

Now its easy for sales like this to look at an item and think YES! that is soooooo discounted I neeeeed it. then you realize that you STILL overpaid for something. Here is a perfect example.

I wanted a long trench coat. So i found a really nice one I would get uses out of for many many winters. I found this at Nordstrom:

I know I know its an insane price but think if I have it for 10 years it will beat the shit out of a yearly $65 Forever 21 or Amazon knockoff. Before I spend this much money I am going to check and see if any other sites I know will have something like this with similar quality and I found this at Macy’s:

Very similar. On top of that I found out if I downloaded the Macy’s app I could save another 25% bringing this coat down to around $225.

Sometimes you need to look other places and find the best discount that you are looking for.

This is also a good time to stock up on more expensive things at a bigger discount. I love buying my La Mer face cream during these times as the discount is much bigger on pricier items.

All in all this sale was “meh” these sales usually are if you get real with yourself. As a stay at home mom I am not going to be rocking the trendiest leopard print pants around gymnastics class but it’s also a great time of year to stock up on some great basics. So that said, here are my REALISTIC pics from the sale. p.s. I will say that Nordstrom did an amazing job of stocking plus size clothing on their site. If you are over a size 1x you are sure to find amazing stuff!

AAAny fucking thing madewell is amazing. I get hot at night with my extra fluff so having shorts and a top that will fit my boobs is KEY. Literally my longest lasting pieces. Madewell.com is actually having a large sale as we speak as well so be sure to check it out.

Oh haaaaay leggings that look like pants but stretch like leggings when you are literally running after your toddler who is holding a stick.

Look its a casual top with a little detail that will make me look maybe a little more intentional when i have my hair up in a bun and two different shoes on.

I am just looking for a winter dress I can pair with the same fucking puffer vest I wear all winter that at the same time wont show my entire ass when I bend over. Also-size down in this.

Get excited for another casual sweater. I may get a few colors in this one so I wont have to wear the exact same damn thing all winter long. Again, pairs well with leggings and a puffy vest. Best worn while holding a giant fucking starbucks.

This screams “BUT IM A COOL MOM” honestly I just need more jackets that I can dress up the same jeans with on the rare occasion I leave the house. I can totally see myself holding a double shot of tequila in this coat…..then calling an uber to be home by 10.

Don’t fucking start with me…..I know, I know, but let me live! At some point I will wear these on some dance floor and it will be glorious…..Or they will be shoved in the back of some closet and Marlowe will try to steal them when she’s 13 to pretend she’s Sandy from Grease.

Below are some things I find absolutely obscene but I had to share so we can giggle together.

What in the ever-loving fuck………when would I ever need a dicky let alone a turtleneck one? like what situation are you finding yourself in that you wanna wear a fucking loin cloth for your chest. If you unzip this does it become a scarf? At the point you are buying this you have to be into some fraudulent ass shit…. I have questions.

I just wanna meet the person that drops this much money on a fucking poncho, I really do. Probably the same assholes that hire private chefs to cook their meals at burning man. You will definitely be the most stylish person at the hot springs drum circle fo sho.

Now imagine the perfect vest…..does it kind of look like a ugg boot? Does it have a teeny tiny balloon string holding it together with your thoughts and prayers? Does it make you feel fancy wearing baby sheep skin against your cold heart? Would this be perfect paired with a grey dicky? If you answered yes to any of these questions you deserve to drop a grand on this beauty.

That’s it folks! You can see I still am on the hunt for a lot of stuff on my list and I didn’t find a single thing for Marlowe but it’s as good as its gonna get this year!

 

 

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